That was not what I was hoping for. I knew I was ill prepared for a battle, but I thought for sure my first battle would be me pissing off the Tenloss Syndicate and needing to run for my life. Well I suppose I had the running for my life part right. How in the hell could I have expected a damn pirate attack on my travels to Nar Shaddaa?
That's right, the damn pirates latched right on to the window, blocking my beautiful view of deep nothingness, and broke in making my hull stripper taste bad. As pissed as that made me, I still wasn't going to match up well in a fight where my only plan of attack was a surprise fork, so I ran like the brave knight that I am. Luckily I was slightly more brave than the chadra-fan in the room, as I at least followed someone who I could help put up a fight; he just went to pop a squat in the refresher. When you gotta go, you gotta go.
I have to admit, it has been pretty nice having PH-L7 around to keep us cool in times like these, he immediately had a plan to follow a bounty hunter to his room and see what we could do to help each other. Jenny Parmesan, I'm pretty sure that was his name. Well he agreed to help us if we helped him. To be honest, I don't think he was very impressed with us, but he saw Arrianta and figured he could at least soak up a couple blasts meant for him and boy howdy was he right. Luckily he set me up with a blaster, because I was sooooo useful with one, but hey, I'm not gonna complain about a free gun. That was about all the time we had before the pirates were just down the hall from us.
When we got into battle, I gotta say, we weren't near as useless as I thought we'd be. There's Arrianta in the front, taking shots to the head like a champ, PH-L7 running around sticking things in everyone's butts, and me running for the nearest access panel to see if I can find something fun to play with. Then there's good ole Jenny Parmesan, right off the bat, entering the fight with killing the first hostile he lays eyes on. I decided to take a page out of his book and found access to some blast doors, that turned out to be quite entertaining. I don't know what was better, seeing the pirate piss himself, or watching his buddies look on in terror as he got crushed in a blast door. No, I know what was better. Me opening the door back up for Arrianta to go charging in and slipping in the puddle ole Pancake left behind. I think if I hadn't been so terrified for my life, I'da had a good chuckle at that. We found our groove after that, I only got one more baddie to play a game of paddy-cake with a blast door, Arrianta got himself some payback leaving body parts scattered through the hallway, and PH-L7 was just having a blast with the butt poking.
We found what we needed from the scattered remains of these clowns. And that was some evidence of collusion between some engineer and these pirates. Well, if it's engines being compromised to cause this ship to be the newest satellite, I suppose there's no one better than ole Vap to get em back up and running. So off to the engine room we go. As soon as we get there, we find the problem – the saboteur himself just hanging out in the hallway. We quickly wrangle him, and PH-L7 does some sweet talking to try to get the guy to help us out. That didn't help. In fact I think the guy was more pissed after ward but it didn't really matter, Jenny wanted the guy for a bounty and offered us a hefty sum if we helped him collect.
I didn't really stick around much for the further discussions happening there, I wanted to be in my home – an engine room. Surrounded by tech and machinery, that's where I need to be. I didn't immediately identify the issue like I thought I would, but I tracked it down soon enough. While I was in working on the important stuff to get this ship functional again, apparently PH-L7 decided to continue his smooth talking ways and got a couple more hostiles heading down to the engine room. I really gotta find some time for some mods for that work in progress. No worries for me though, I know what I'm doing. But, turns out ole Foul-Mouth McCaptive-Pants did too. I locked myself out of his damn hack. I suppose I can recognize skills when they're shown. Anyway, not a total loss, I totally knew the rest of the system and was able to find us another way out of this mess – an old YT-1300 in a cargo bay.
I wanted to keep poking around that system, I know I would have found something to ease my curious mind, but time was up. This time it wasn't just your run of the mill pirate mob that we needed Arrianta to dismember. They had a little more skill but the same weakness for not being able to function well without their heads. And with that is was off to the cargo bay.
When we got to the bay, it looked like we were in great shape to be able to sneak close to the ship's ramp before we would have to greet the hostiles in the room with blasters, but being as sneaky as dragging metal across metal gave us away. Things got pretty tense for a moment there, turns out Arrianta isn't as good at decapitation when he's knocked out, but with some lucky shots and a well timed grenade we had our ship.
This thing was a beaut. It had all the features you could want in a ship, like a loading ramp that doesn't go down, a loading ramp that doesn't go up, a regulation side-arm blaster as a bottom cannon, and, oh ya how could I forget, NO FREAKING HYPERDRIVE. We hit space and it turns out we had some luck coming our way, the empire finally doing their job and scaring off the pirates. Now I would have been happier just continuing on to Nar Shaddaa in our newfound pleasure cruiser, but the tie fighters and not having a freaking hyperdrive convinced us to go say hello to our rescuers.
Now I know I met some crazy-ass admiral thinking he's a movie star. I know he asked us to go tracking down someone. I know I agreed. But I cannot for the life of me remember what I agreed to. Hey, I was tired, alright? Something about fighting for your life will do that to a guy. But what I DO know? I gotta work on my shot…